Returning to God: The Cross at the Trailhead
Destination: Every Trail Begins Again
The trail winding its way through the forest is a dark brown, a reminder of the soft rain that fell through the night. Water is still dripping from the leaves and branches of the trees overhanging the trail. Looking to the right through the trees something peaks the interest. Perhaps it’s the sound of a small waterfall that pulled, maybe it’s a large rock standing like a sentinel just away from the trail, it could be a beautiful flower growing. Two steps off of the trail, three, four, eventually the trail is through the trees instead of below the feet. Time is taken to appreciate whatever it was that pulled us away from the trail. But that trail keeps calling to take another step down the beaten trail. Eventually the pull cannot be fought and returning to the trail the journey continues.
This is the trail of Christian pilgrimage and formation. We rarely walk in perfectly straight lines, rather the journey is marked by repeated returning to the trail. We must be okay with the fact that Christian life is about consistent returning rather than flawless progress. The parable of the prodigal son is a reminder that we are always called to return and the welcome that is waiting for us. We have a son who leaves the trail, takes his inheritance and squanders it and finally, realizing the condition that he finds himself in, decides to return home. Not just to return to life as usual but rather to subject himself to being just a servant in the household. Upon his return he is not only welcomed but a feast is held in his honor and even after telling his father that he intends to return as a servant the father returns him to his proper station in the household.
Obviously there is a lot of nuance in the story and we are completely ignoring the older son who stayed faithful. But really think, are we more like the first or the younger son? Probably the younger son. Now this parable is missing one thing, we never saw what the father does during the younger son’s sojourn off of the path and that is a shame. Because there is a Father who is always pulling and tugging us to return to the trail. One of those tugs is the call to pray that we all inherently feel. Prayer is a tool given to us to return to the trail and prayer beads create a pattern of rhythm that helps us cultivate a habit of returning.
Trailhead: Why We Wander
Wandering from the trail is natural. If it wasn’t there would have been no Fall, there would be no need for prophets, there would be no voice in the wilderness, and there would be no need for a savior. Wandering is literally born into us, the Fall led to us being a wandering people. But, our Hope is also empowered by our wandering.
Bearing I: The Human Heart is Prone to Wander
Mankind, figuratively and literally, is prone to wander. There is a wanderlust that is built into our very being and it has led to many remarkable things, discoveries in any science and art can be attributed to our wandering nature, to see what is over the next hill, and it has also led to some of mankind’s greatest atrocities such as war. The Prophet Isaiah said in Chapter Fifty-Six, verse six:
6 All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way; and the Lord hath laid on him the iniquity of us all.
All have gone astray according to Isaiah. We have turned our own way and lean unto our own understanding and strengths. Spiritual drift is a reality that often occurs gradually rather than in some dramatic moment (even though these do happen at times). Busyness, distraction, anxiety, comfort, and self-reliance slowly dull our awareness of God’s hand.
But there is something else in the reading from Isaiah and we see a similar idea in one of the Psalms, specifically Psalms One Hundred Thirty-Nine, verses twenty-three and twenty-four:
23 Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: 24 And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.
God is always pulling us to return. We just need to become aware of His tugging and allow Him to lead us in the way everlasting.
Bearing II: Repentance is Coming Home
Returning to the trail is repentance. It is a turning of our hearts and minds back to where we are supposed to be. Many times we focus on the feelings of guilt that accompany a desire to turn our hearts and minds and that might be the emotional urging and tugging that encourages repentance. But, we must remember that it is all about reorienting ourselves and our lives to Christ. The Prophet Joel declared in Chapter Two, verses twelve and thirteen:
12 Therefore also now, saith the Lord, turn ye even to me with all your heart, and with fasting, and with weeping, and with mourning: 13 And rend your heart, and not your garments, and turn unto the Lord your God: for he is gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and of great kindness, and repenteth him of the evil.
God is gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and of great kindness. The prodigal son felt the call to return and when he does so we are not given an image of an angry father who said “I told you so!” No, we have a father who runs out to meet him and falls upon his neck in joy. We are called to return home, it does not matter why or how we feel that call, only that we answer. Just as the prodigal son was restored in the household, so too are we restored in the household of the faithful.
Bearing III: Grace Comes First
Prayer is one way we heed this call to return home. Prayer is a gift given to us to be able to heed the invitation from the Father to come back to His arms. Returning in prayer is an answer to the grace that is already given to us by a loving Father. In the First Epistle of John, Chapter Four, verse nine we see that our Love is a reality because of His Love:
19 We love him, because He first loved us.
Our spiritual reality is conditioned on one reality and that is the unconditional Love of God. He Loves us and because of this eternal condition we are able to return to the trail. The Thin Place Trail is carved by the fact that God’s welcome is the trailhead, not the destination. He has already welcomed us and we are free to journey down the path. We pray because we have been invited to this wondrous trail.
Prayer, and all other spiritual disciplines, are responses to this Grace that has been given to us. Spiritual disciplines are not a prerequisite to earning Grace, if they were we would not be able to call it Amazing. Prayer practices, and all of these spiritual disciplines, are an enlivenment of the Grace that is always calling us back to the trail.
Trail Marker: The Cross at the Trailhead
The Cross on the Rosary is more than just a place where our prayer practice starts physically, rather it is the theological beginning of every journey. It is a representation of that Grace that has been freely given to us all.
Cairn I: Every Journey Begins at the Cross
The Cross reminds us who invites us into prayer. Remember prayer is an answer to a call. It’s a call that Christ Himself made, as accounted in the Gospel of Saint Luke, Chapter Nine, verse twenty-three:
23 And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me.
If we are to follow Christ on this trail we must deny ourselves. Ultimately this means heeding the call to Return, it is to overcome the busyness, distractions, anxieties, and comforts that lead us off of the trail. This is denying ourselves. In doing so we take up the cross and follow Him who has already carried it. If we are to follow Christ then we, figuratively and literally, must take up the cross at the beginning of the journey. If we are to answer Christ’s call to return we take upon ourselves the Cross by denying ourselves. Our journey of prayer begins the same way.
Cairn II: Spiritual Practices Clear the Trail
Grace continually calls us to return to the trail. The cross at the beginning of the trail correctly orients our feet and prepares us for the journey ahead. But sometimes that path that we are called to walk becomes overgrown. It is overgrown because of infrequent use. A gentle walk through the meadow grass does not carve a trail through the meadow. Rather, frequent use will eventually carve that trail.
So too do frequent and repeated rhythms of spiritual practices and disciplines build the trail of faith. Small daily acts shape lifelong discipleship better than isolated experiences. And practices that answer the call of returning are the first steps necessary to cut away the overgrowth of the trail. Each faithful step makes the trail a little bit clearer, every step that we take may, in turn, make the path that much more visible for our fellow pilgrims.
Overlook: A Morning Return
Just as the morning sun cresting over the hill is a reminder that a new day returns, so too do many of our spiritual practices remind us that Grace is always given, calling us back to the trail. Engage with the following practices before your day begins.
Standing Stone I: Preparing the Heart
The effectiveness of all spiritual practices, especially prayer, begins with our intentions. We must begin these practices with the reality that Grace has been freely given to us, that the call to return was initiated by God and not by us. We love because we are loved. These practices are not about moving God closer to us but rather moving us closer to God.
Take five minutes with the Rosary, find a quiet place, breathe slowly, and hold the Cross. Begin to notice God’s presence and the reality that He never moved away from us.
Standing Stone II: Walking the First Steps
Too often we are afraid to take the first step. Perhaps the trail is overgrown from disuse or maybe we’re afraid that we’re not prepared for the journey ahead. It does not matter. Just as an infant wobbles as it takes its first step, we wobble when we take the first steps of spiritual practices. And just as a loving parent is excited about the first step and doesn’t even notice the wobbles, so too does God look at us. A common wobble with the Rosary is the fear of saying the prayers correctly. Rather than worry, just take the following first step:
Hold the Cross
Remember Christ’s call to deny ourselves and take up our Cross
Offer yourself to God for the day.
Move to the Invitatory Bead
Thank God for His Grace
Turn around the Circle (Ignore the difference between the cruciform and week beads, for this practice they are all the same)
At each bead dedicate the day to turning your heart and mind continually back to God
Move to the Dismissal Bead
Thank God again for His Grace
Return to the Cross
Meditate on the Love of God and receive Christ’s peace before entering the work day
Standing Stone III: Keep it Small
It is small faithful steps that carve the trail rather than one intensive hike through the forest. Sustainability is more effective than intensity. Taking five faithful minutes each day is better than ambitious plans that we abandon after a week or two. We want to create consistency in our practices and not complexity. As the path becomes clearer and clearer to see and walk, complexity naturally increases. These practices should become as natural as greeting the sunrise.
Choose either Standing Stone I or II and commit to practicing it each day for the week.
Campfire Reflection: Begin Again
The sun has set and the evening twilight begins to fade. Night is fast approaching. As the pilgrim waits for the dawning sun around the campfire, there is time to reflect upon the following:
What pulls your attention away from God's presence most often?
Where do you sense Christ inviting you to return today?
What would change if every morning began by remembering that you are already welcomed?
What small rhythm could help you begin each day with grace instead of hurry?
Dawn heralds the rising sun as the pilgrim steps onto the dew covered path. The first hints of the sun peaking over the hill. The trail is quiet, the air still, and the day’s destination unknown. But the first step is the most important, the first step is enough because God is already walking ahead. For the pilgrim every sunrise is a quiet sacrament of God’s mercy and grace. The first step in the dawn is an answer to the call to return, no matter how many nights fall, the call is always being made. There is always an opportunity to begin.
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